Having fun with initiating

Is it always the same person that sparks up your sex life? Does your partner always talk about new positions, locations and fantasies, or are you always the one slinking your hand under the covers to let them know you’re up for a good time? Initiation is a big part of sex, and can lead to amazing experiences.  But, if taken for granted, it can stop your sex life in its tracks.

My boyfriend and I were having a good ol’ Netflix in bed binge last week and, like we usually do, ended up having sex.  Afterwards, he said: ‘It was really nice that you were the first to start that’.  I looked at him a bit strangely – isn’t our sex always equally initiated? On thinking about it, I realised that he was right; I usually enjoyed his advances, or sat back and waited for them, as I was used to doing so in other relationships.  Now I’m aware of that, I’ve been able to do something about it now and again, and that’s a pretty empowering thought.

In a partnership, one of us is always more likely to be the dominant, confident and hornier one, but initiating intimacy every now and again, even if it’s not something that you would usually do, can feel really liberating and remind your loved one that you still find them sexy as hell, even if playing harder to get is more your usual style!

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