This month, Liability magazine asked if I could write a piece about my relationship with my non-disabled boyfriend. I told him about it, wondering if he’d like to add something about how this relationship differs for him (if at all). I was pretty bowled over by the response I got back, and think it speaks for itself and doesn’t really need my input. What I will say is, Tinder works(!), and I’m an incredibly lucky girl 🙂
“I guess what I noticed after seeing your beautiful smile and your amazing profile was that you had a few pictures of you in a wheelchair. I thought that was interesting as I’d never come across a chair user on Tinder before, but I can’t say it factored too much into what happened next. You gave off such a great vibe from your description and your colourful pictures I couldn’t not send a super like and I was really excited when you matched me back.”
“Your confidence beamed through as you were right in there for some chat, something rare for me to encounter while swiping. We hit it off instantly and I think we chatted all through the night, laying down not only who we were and what we were about but Spirit Animals and Dreams also came up. You were so excited for your documentary coming out the next day and I remember promising myself that I’d watch it.”
“The next day I came home from work and fired the BBC app up to watch it. You were so cool being on TV and giving a fair look at faith healing. I remember messaging you about it and as we got chatting you said you hadn’t seen a great deal of Scotland. So cheekily I said that I’d show you around and instantly you replied and before we knew it we were getting ready for our first date. Nervous and hoping to make a good impression I put on a shirt, smartened up and headed to our meeting place.”
“I still remember the butterflies seeing your Mini Cooper pull up in the car park. I headed over after seeing you stop, then I saw the smile from the profile for real. You were so so lovely and then I looked down and saw the chair. Unsure what to do I asked what the procedure was and you were so cool with what must have seemed like my nervous question and I put it into the boot. Off we went for a night of driving. Chatter, deep conversations at some points and of course vanilla milkshake!
I remember feeling so lovely after the date. It was a feeling I certainly hadn’t felt during any first date before and we set a date for number 2 and the messages kept on coming!”
“Date 2. Out for a meal. I remember making it to your colourful flat and you answering the door. This was the first time I’d seen you in your chair. I can’t say I’d put much thought into what it might be like but you made it so easy. We cuddled, had a cup of tea, you transferred to the sofa and we chatted. We eventually made it out to eat and I remember pulling up to the kerb by the restaurant and thinking i should be pro active about helping you. Partly because I wanted you to think that I had no problem with the chair, and I really didn’t want to stand awkwardly and not know what to do! So I asked and again you made it so easy. I remember us heading to the restaurant and being turned away. I remember you pushing across the street and I just stayed close and let you do your thing. And then we had bravas and another magical night. Date 3 was already set and we were starting something beautiful.”
“Your disability has never really been an issue, you made it all so easy for me and made it so natural. And now we ‘ve come so far it’s amazing.”